At the Lion’s Gate…New Balance

Peace. I’m Dom the Cannamom, also known as Mama Dom. I am a Cannabis advocate and a self-prescribed, medicinal Cannabis consumer. 

On a regular Tuesday night after dinner, baths, and bed for my tribe, you can find me sweeping my kitchen floor, my headphones on and a joint in my mouth. A year ago, I would be cooped up in my den after church, secretly nursing the L my husband rolled for me, to ease the stress of Sunday morning in ministry.

Go back a little further to the days I had to drive almost 2 hours to get to my classes on Rutgers campus, then turn around and go home to be a spouse and a mother. I was usually too tired or stressed to use my brain efficiently; but puff an L in the car and I’m good to go.

Healing with Cannabis

Cannabis heals and has always been a part of my healing. It took me a few years to let that be ok. I spent a long time being ashamed of myself based on what I thought other people in my village would think. 

I grew up in an extremely pious black Christian family, and spent much of my adolescence and 20’s anxious and sneaky. Great expectations always loomed over me like the very shadow of God, making me paranoid. On the outside I was a people pleaser who constantly put the opinion (heard or otherwise) of others before my own wellbeing.

On the inside, I was tormented by my own shadow and all the things I liked to do. Mentally, I flogged myself for doing them. I would lash out, cause arguments with my husband, and do or say things contrary to my spirit. I was ungrounded and out of balance. 

Cannabis, like liquor, pre-marital sex, and wearing pants to church, is considered a gateway to sin. But still, I consumed it like the phenomenal secret lover that it was. I went through great lengths to never smell like or look like I had been smoking weed.

Sometimes I even denied myself Cannabis during stressful situations because I was viewing “Dom” through the watchful eyes of my village. I realize now true anguish; confusing and denying myself the help I believe I needed. 

As I got older, and life got more complicated, I began to make decisions in other aspects of life that helped me usurp my power back from the entities I was giving it to. The span of time between living by others and living for myself is about as old as my youngest child, 4 1/2 years of age. But the last 4 years have been some of the most eye opening and empowering years of my life. I am finding a new balance, and Cannabis is helping me do that. Infusing cannabis into my self-care (pun intended) is helping free me from the prison of my own mind.

Cannabis and Self-Acceptance

My world was once full of high anxiety and confusion. I had to let all that confusion go because “a double minded person is unstable in all her ways” (I just can’t get away from scripture lol). There’s no way I’m continuing through life unstable. I’m glad that I can stand in my true essence and say “I love Cannabis”.

There is nothing confusing about how good it feels to let the wires of my brain untangle as I decompress with the sweet-smelling savor of one of the most powerful healers known to humankind. Cannabis isn’t my only healing tool, but it did clear the way for me to recognize the power of plants.

In Closing

I found clarity amid the smoke and a better path to my soul’s work. I’m excited to take what I am learning and turn it into magic that can help other people to do the same, preferably with Cannabis. 
For now, stay tuned and stay lifted, because there is so much to explore! 

Vibe with me on social media HartsofEden , Pretty_Girls_Smoke_Weed , _HartsofEden and on Medium

Written by:

Edited by: Veronica Castillo

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