The Moment I Knew I Was a Writer: A Personal Essay

Image of Author; Kristie Filippello Gutierrez

The moment I knew I was a writer was when I realized the desire I had to learn and grow.

I remember the day. I was on a 3 hour flight delay at Orlando International Airport in 2019. I was overwhelmed and over stimulated, casually walking around burning through time. I tripped and fell, hitting the ground. Trying not to scream or cry over the hurtful impact, I looked and noticed my red ball point pen about 5 feet away. It was the one thing that fell from my purse.

How ironic I thought. At that moment, my sign and confirmation.

Confirmation in Motion and My First Blank Page

Photo of Author: Kristie Filippello Gutierrez

The day came where it was time for me to sit down and start writing, so I chose journaling. It was about nothing, yet everything. Secure expressions, backup planning, and better performance ideas were a few things that made it into that day’s entry.

On this day, journaling became very uplifting. Meeting me in my self discovery stage of life was an experience I’ll never forget. Navigating social pressures and identity formation; I knew the writing force would be in my favor if I didn’t give up on myself.

Journaling became my outpour of expression and release with no fear of judgment. I wanted to share these feelings so I started to pass out my short poems and self made journals to everyone I knew and saw. I even posted quotes on sticky notes in the random bathroom stalls and entry ways.

I was inspired by the comfort in others who found some form of representation, because of my work. I was fueled to make more connections.

Visualization on Paper, My Release & Reset

©: Berkeley Well Being

Fighting unhealthy battles is super exhausting. During a time that I was experiencing some of my own, and noticed a shift in my innermost thoughts. They became all about the challenges and I needed a way to get them out. It was during this time that writing became my mental escape. My clogged head had space, and that’s when my visions started making it to the paper.

I’ve always dreamt about bringing certain visions to life but at this point, I didn’t know how to make that happen. I didn’t know writing things down, documenting, was one great way to start. I started seeing way less challenges and way more possibilities. I was clearly seeing my dreams and then they started becoming reality.

Writing as a form of therapy led me to transparency and what the things that came from that were mind blowing… outrageously profound.

Celebrating My Achievements

Becoming a published writer was one of them. Having my work reach the people that may need to read it the most has been one of the visions I held. As you read this- I am celebrating!

I recognized my sign, accepted it as confirmation, and started putting writing into intentional practice. I started with myself, and it worked out! Half of getting to where you see yourself in your dreams, is doing the *you* work to get there.

Final Thoughts- a Few Tips

For me it was to decide to write, then continuing, and finally using writing to help heal. Consistency and balance have to be applied, which is constant work and holding yourself accountable. Even if it’s small, set a goal and stay determined to reach it. I call myself a writer and I mean it! So I write!I encourage positive affirmations and joining local or virtual community activities like the Create and Publish Network. Sometimes we need the energy of community and like-minded.